Starting something new can be tough. You might not know anyone. You might feel embarrassed because you’re a beginner. You might feel overwhelmed. Even if you know in your bones that this is what you want and this is how you get it, there are a lot of what we call “friction points” to get over. By definition, a friction point is hard move past. What that means, is that if you want to get through that uncomfortable bit in the beginning, you have to make your goal matter. It has to count for something.
Nearly everyone who starts with us tells us right up front that they want to lose weight or gain muscle or get in shape. They have a goal. But before we let them sign up, we spend 20-30 minutes diving into that goal.
So a simplified (but super common) version of that conversation might look like this…
“I want to lose weight.”
“Cool, why is that important to you?”
“It will make me feel better.”
“In what way?”
“I’ll be able to keep up with my family.”
“How are you not keeping up with your family?”
“They’re all super active.”
“But you’re not?”
“I’m not.”
“How does that feel?”
“It feels like I’m watching life happen to my kids and my spouse while I’m just sitting on the outside.”
“And how does that feel?”
“Like I’ll be left behind by the people I love most.”
That conversation in real life takes more like 10 minutes. And it involves a lot of courage and grace and vulnerability and we don’t take that lightly. But the point of my sharing it with you is this: “I want to lose 10 pounds” and “I don’t want to feel like I’ll be left behind by the people I love most” matter in very, very different ways.
As cliche as it is, if you want something to change, the thing that you want has to matter more than the friction points involved in getting started. People all over the internet say “Find Your Why.” And that’s good and important. But it can be hard to figure that out. So here are two practical ways you might do this:
1) Spend 10 minutes journaling/thinking/talking about what will happen if you don’t do the thing you want to do. If you don’t take that risk, if you don’t get uncomfortable, if you don’t change anything, what will life be like? 2) Spend 10 minutes journaling/thinking/talking about what life could be like if you do the thing you want to do. If you’re successful, if you get the results you want, how will your life be different?
Either (or even both) of these can be powerful.
The point is this: you have to make it count. You have to make it matter.
How it matters might change as time goes on. You might have to redo that exercise more than once.
But if you can make your goal matter on a deep, deep level, there is almost literally nothing that you can’t do.