What’s the Story?
Nearly every philosopher and wise teacher in history has said some variation of this: it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you think about what happens to you. A little woo-woo? Maybe. But that’s where we’re going today, so buckle in.
Think of the hardest workout you’ve ever done. The one where your muscles were burning, your lungs felt like you were breathing fire, you weren’t sure if you could hang on – literally and figuratively – for even one more second. Remember the face you were making? Remember what words were going through your head? Remember what you were doing with your body? The little leg kicks, or deep breaths, or arm shakes?
Some of what was happening in that workout for you was absolutely physiological. I’ve never met someone who can control how much they sweat, for example.
But a lot of that… a lot more than we usually think… was psychological. Not that it wasn’t real. But that it was related to what was happening in your mind.
Here’s something to play with…
Next time you’re doing a hard workout, one where your shoulders are burning and you’re grimacing in pain and discomfort, see if you can do a quick check-in… What are you doing physically that you don’t need to be doing? Clenching your fists? Gritting your teeth? Making a pain face? What’s your internal narrative? Is it something like, “My legs hurt! This is brutal! Can’t wait to be done! This sucks!” Almost all of what you’re experiencing – and maybe up to 100% of it – is in response to a story you have about what’s happening. Your shoulders, your legs, your lungs, are talking to you, to be sure. But then you are interpreting what they are saying and making a story about it.
I totally get it if you don’t believe me. But after you do that check-in, try this: instead of saying: “My shoulders are burning,” (which is a story), say: “There’s a sensation in my shoulders.” Notice it. But don’t give it a story. There’s sensation in your shoulders, sure; but does it hurt? Does it burn? Are they on fire? Or is it just sensation? Get curious instead of jumping right to the story.
I’m not saying this is going to magically make it so that you can do 30 reps instead of 10, or 200lbs instead of 100lbs. But every time I play that game, I surprise myself.
That’s very cool as a little performance trick for a workout.
But what’s a lot more powerful is the way that this exercise can become practice for the rest of life. If someone pulls ahead of you quickly in traffic, you can tell a story about what a jerk they are and get worked up for the rest of the day. Or you can tell a story about how they were distracted because they’re having a hard day. Or you can just notice that they pulled in front of you quickly, and leave it totally neutral and move on.
The gym is a great laboratory for life. And the skills you learn there transfer. Not just for carrying your groceries, but for a whole lot of other things too.
If you practice this, I’d really love to hear what your experience is. Let me know!
