I didn’t coin that phrase. But man, it’s true.
There are elements to comparison that are helpful, but in this social media world, there’s a lot that isn’t.
We see this a lot with fitness influencers. There’s a movement in Olympic weightlifting called the Clean and Jerk. It’s incredibly technical. It demands massive amounts of speed and power, incredible coordination and balance, and impressive flexibility. People work at it for years and years to perfect it.
But it’s pretty easy to learn to do it safely. Which means a ton of people – especially in the functional fitness world – know how to do it.
A friend of mine has gotten really into Olympic weightlifting lately. He’s in his early 40s. He has two kids. He and his wife both work full time. They have a house that needs upkeep. And weightlifting is a sport that he’s been able to do a few times a week that he really enjoys and has seen some real benefits from.
But he came across a social media video of a 19-year-old who could clean and jerk double what my friend’s best effort is. He was discouraged and frustrated that this punk kid made it look so effortless when he’s worked so hard..
Here’s what I said to him…
“That 19-year-old’s Clean and Jerk is insane. Super impressive. But before you go feeling like a loser… does that 19-year-old have a full time job? Does he have kids? Does he have a spouse with a full-time job? Or is he a fitness influencer whose job is to be good at fitness? No discredit to that 19-year-old. He’s legitimately amazing. But everything has tradeoffs. You train for 3 hours per week. He probably trains for 40. Which means every week of his training is worth 13 of yours. You’re doing the same movement, but you’re playing two totally different games. You could do that too. But instead of going to your kid’s dance recitals and reading them bedtime stories and having dates with your spouse and working your job that you love, you’d have to train.”
And that’s the problem with comparison, especially on social media. It totally lacks context. The stuff fitness influencers can do is very often incredible. And it’s stuff that has come at a cost of countless hours of work and dedication. But they’re not better than you. You don’t suck. You just (probably… if you’re reading this) have chosen a life that prioritizes something other than training.
There’s not a thing in the world wrong with that.
My wife and I own a gym. Training is not my top priority. It’s very important to me, to be sure. But I dedicate 5-7 hours per week to it. The other 96% of my life is doing other stuff. Training supports the rest of my life. Not the other way around. And that’s what works for me.
And that’s kind of my point.
Do what works for you. Do what makes you happy. Do what supports building the kind of life you want to live. Seeing other people can be inspiring and aspirational. But don’t get so caught up in comparison that you miss how awesome the things you already have actually are.