How to Get What You Want Most (p. 2)

by Michael Plank

Monday I talked about how all great things lie on the other side of being willing to feel embarrassed (you can read it HERE).

But feeling embarrassed is what we call a “friction point.” It’s not fun. Nobody likes it. By definition, a friction point is hard to get over. So if you want to get through that uncomfortable big, you have to make your goal matter.

Nearly everyone who starts with us tells us right up front that they want to lose weight or gain muscle or get in shape. They have a goal. But before we let them sign up, we spend 20-30 minutes diving into that goal.

So a simplified (but super common) version of that conversation might looks like this…
“I want to lose weight.”
“Cool, why is that important to you?”
“It will make me feel better.”
“In what way?”
“I’ll be able to keep up with my family.”
“How are you not keeping up with your family?”
“They’re all super active.”
“But you’re not?”
“I’m not.”
“How does that feel?”
“It feels like I’m watching life happen to my kids and my spouse while I’m just sitting on the outside.”
“And how does that feel?”
“Like I’ll be left behind by the people I love most.”

That conversation in real life takes more like 10 minutes. And it involves a lot of courage and grace and vulnerability and we don’t take that lightly. But the point of my sharing it with you is this: “I want to lose 10 pounds” and “I don’t want to feel like I’ll be left behind by the people I love most” matter in very, very different ways.

As cliche as it is, if you want something to change, the thing that you want has to matter more than feeling embarrassed that you have no idea what you’re doing.

Two practical ways to do this: 1) Spend 10 minutes journaling/thinking/talking about what will happen if you don’t do the thing you want to do. 2) Spend 10 minutes journaling/thinking/talking about what life could be like if you do the thing you want to do. Either (or even both) can be powerful.

The point is this: you have to make it matter.

How it matters might change as time goes on. You might have to redo that exercise more than once.

But if you’re willing to be embarrassed and feel like you have no idea what you’re doing, and if you can make your goal matter on a deep, deep level, there is almost literally nothing that you can’t do.